phantasmagoria
by SebonzaMitsuki27
Summary: ToushirouKarin. Flickering through black and white, they find their perfect shade of grey.
1. monochrome

phantasmagoria 

**1. monochrome **

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She thinks she wants to kiss him.

It happens when she thinks about him, just as light peeks beneath her eyelashes, as she wakes up; just before darkness hums its sweet melody, as she sleeps, a random thought that passes her by. The thought comes to her as she lets people pass her by, stuck in her own world; as she doodles on a random sheet of paper, staring listlessly at the work she is meant to do, before crumpling the piece of paper and chucking it in the bin.

There are so many unwritten love letters that she never intends to give him.

It's her secret, one he'll never know, as he remains beside her unaware of her restraint. He'll sigh and shrug and slouch as he complains, and she'll laugh it off like there's no tomorrow and the sun will stay ever blissful in its zenith, as she glances at him, wondering what's on his mind.

She'll tease him and ruffle his hair as often as he refutes and passes the ball towards her, trusting her to make the winning goal.

And after all that's said and done, she'll smile at him, lingering at his side as he walks her home, discussing future soccer tactics and silently wondering how to incorporate it into a confession. But he gets it, in his way; kicking the ball to her in exchange for her heart. He grins back, one day, hopelessly, as if he understands her dilemma between love and friendship.

It's kind of adorable, kind of goofy, and kind of inexplicably _them._

Her hand brushes his, almost caught in the web of intertwined hands that lovey-dovey couples have, and as his heat burns against her icy skin, the day seems brighter among soccer sweat and black and white fears. It's the way the wind blows his hair, the way his eyes gaze at her, the way she leans into his side that thoughts like those make her heart twist and face flush with an unexpected reaction and the words almost tumble out, the litter bin overflowing into the tranquil ground.

She _knows_ she wants to kiss him.

But she thinks she never will.

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Disclaimer: I do not own bleach.


	2. xanadu

phantasmagoria 

**2. xanadu**

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He's never sure what to make of her.

Not sure whether to give her a bouquet or a box of chocolates, a new cap or a pair of sneakers. But it's because he's never sure where they stand – as friends, as lovers, on opposite ends of the world, caught in the middle of a game that sees them as players in a different context.

When he's with her, he can sense something in the air, stirring within the undercurrents that tease them in a tug of war, moving back and forth in the tumultuous label that has never been defined. And all it takes is a simple smile, a simple grin, an accidental sway that tips the balance between them and this raises the score once more.

The crowd cheers, the crowd boos, but no matter what happens, she remains strong, firm in her beliefs and maintaining confidence. For the sake of others, for the sake of herself, for the sake of a happier ending, she promotes hope with her praise and strategies.

By the end of it, she glows like she's lived life to the fullest, putting her best efforts into something that grants joy to others.

There is mud on her face, and ribbons in her hair, and she's never looked happier, never looked more alive.

And for some reason, he can't leave her, drawn to her personality and vivaciousness, her quiet awareness of matters that don't concern her, that _shouldn't_ concern her. Yet if the matter arises, without fail, he will protect her.

Her perceptiveness takes him off guard sometimes, the way she easily transfers one subject of gravity to one of triviality; stowed away within the very corner of her lips and the spectrum of her eyes. She makes him laugh, she makes him sigh, knowing how to make him come undone with a single comment that causes the frozen stars to melt under the warmth of the sun.

Her heart is a pretty thing, one that will always have a beautiful resonance with him.

Radiating in such splendour, he cannot help but think that if she continues to be someone who perceives him as who he truly is, his self-control will break… and he will inevitability kiss her.

When that time comes, he'll know, just as she will, that they belong together.

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**a/n.**_ It's been a pleasure writing this; hope you've equally enjoyed it. Thank you for reviewing, favouriting and alerting._


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